Silly But Lovely

Sara had written a really long rhyme but put it away for another time.  

She knew her gratitude and Thank You letter start, held no dark intentions in her heart.  Sara never saw the gravity coming, doing her best to do what was right even with the magnetic emotions incoming.  

The emotion Sara felt seeing the titles they had dealt was all she needed, to pull back like ocean tides when they receded. She hoped one day they would not think so badly of her, gravity proved to be a powerful force she fought so hard to curb.

There is coming a day when gravity won't be a bad thing and emotions won't get in the way, hopefully God sends someone as amazing to Sara on that day.  She prayed for forgiveness for what they thought she had done, love makes you do crazy things when you think you've found the one.

All the big words were gone so those stage curtains had been drawn. This time Sara knew the journey was finally done,  used her halyards to raise the sails once she saw the setting sun. 

Assuming they would never read her words again, soon they would be hidden as if a dessert storm had come with it's winds.    The little ship set sail again, this uncharted trip had come to a one in a million end.

Bonus:  How proud Sara was again today.  

 Although Sara had waited for such a long time, only more weeks and months would move that finish line. If the winds blew too swift the song's words breaking her heart would become true, she determined never to be like that NO matter

 what she had to do.

The challenge comes, trying to stop those thoughts in your mind, when gravity pulls you in too soon and makes you blind.  When she heard all about the liar and lying, it all became so complicated, reality rushed in and she wished her words and poetry had waited.

Thankfully, you can always choose to be patient and continue to do the right thing, no matter what song your heart longs to sing. Forgiveness for the reaction to the song is what she hoped to find, they were right, starting the race too soon make the lyrics true, not unkind.

Maybe It is best put listening to songs and writing poetry on hold and let it go, she did not want to be the person in that song or live the story it told.  Deep down inside she knew in another time and place, there would be room for her poetry to be placed like flowers in her favorite vase.

Let it be

I feel a new rain coming as the air begins to cool down, being this close to my beloved mountains, summer showers are always around.  I can not imagine ever leaving them behind, the smell of these trees always trigger beautiful memories in my mind.

The trees here whisper words while the birds provide a melody, together creating a song that reflects my life's legacy.  This is my heart's home close to those that I love, only an hour flight away from friends who fit like a favorite pair of gloves.

I ponder this as I think about the future and where I end up finishing life, being too far from this and them would break my heart  missing it all and bring strife.  

Whose kidding who, it would be impossible....but is that true?  Maybe we could figure this all out, with love leading the way I have no doubts. 

Well, that hike had an unexpected ending.  LOL no need to type on.

Today  the words came as such a surprise, Sara was glad they couldn't see the  pain in her eyes.  None of the new songs the town sent her made sense,  songs full of arrows did damage unexpectedly intense. 

Could  this be real that her silly allegory, didn't bring an understanding, it  brought an end to the story.  Not sure what all the words she deleted contained, but must have brought them unexpected pain.

What  could have happened to cause this hard to starboard turn, surely a  misunderstanding for the negative response to be so sure.  Her tears  fell reflecting her heart's pain as they flowed, only God knew why so to  Him she would go.

Truth  be told Sara was starting to believe, this town had been looking for a  reason to tell her to leave.  The Captain she adored decided to be  gracious like before, he helped untie and so she could move away from  the shore.

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Dear God, please forgive me for being mean today, I am so exhausted I couldn't seem to find one nice thing to say.  For the ones who love me and understand, I know their eyes will hold mercy when we meet again.

Sleeping on office couches while waiting for zoom calls to start, troubles outside of work have weakened my normally kind heart.  No one reaches out for help because their life is going great, I need rest so I can be kind and smile while carrying around this weight.

Tomorrow I close the door with instructions on what to do while I am away.  I want to sleep, turn off my phone and let my words come to life for more than a couple of days.   So hate me in a few weeks if I return and haven't changed, if I am still a mean girl and act the same.

Maybe I will return to sit on the island cliffs where I watched the Orcas dance, or drive out west to watch wild horses in the mountains while they prance.  Little voices are begging me to come with them, help them with their "floaties" and watch them while they swim.  

For those who never walked through the desert of exhaustion land, there is no way they could be expected to understand.  But if you have and you care for me, days like this when I am not perfect, will test whether or not you will flee.

Waves and water they come and they go, sometimes swiftly and sometimes slow. It takes time for sailors to be able to understand how currents flow, allowing them to chart the best way for their ships to go.

Undertows, just like a gravity can take you by surprise, depending on how powerful both can bring fear to your eyes.  Do you give in and let it sweep you away, or do you swim against it knowing today is not the day?

When the moon and stars are hidden from questioning eyes, and there can be no words to answer all the questions why.  On and off the charted trip a ship will go, confused about its direction without beams from the moon's intoxicating glow.

Unbelievable and don't go is what she wanted to say, but so many mixed messages had come her way.  She no longer knew what to do, but trusted love would be there someday if what she heard was true.

She REFUSED to believe anything had been in vain, they had no idea how much their words had eased her heart's pain.  Days so dark and full of tears, had been brightened by the moon for the first time in years.  

Sailing on alone it will be okay, she would always love the moon even if it's beams were not there to light her way. 

Maybe Sara is running away from chains and cutting words, back to a time when she was free of both and soared like a bird.  Needing to wander for a little while, while recovering from the unexpected after she walked down that aisle.

Her expectations were not that grand, only to be loved in many ways by the one who held her hand.  Shaped by life in the small town she came from, and the parents who loved and worked together as one.

In their loving example she still believes, and prays one day God will allow her to receive.  It would be a lie to claim their lives were perfect, but her dad always displayed love and gratitude because he was picked.

Her heart holds old fashioned values set in stone by their love, reinforced by words she  received from up above.  Not for everyone she understands, but would rather walk alone than stray from her heart's hopeful plans.

Does he love You and understand it takes three to make two, or just see You when sitting on the occasional holiday pew.  Will he love praying for us some days, or prefer I take that task because he doesn't have much to say.

Will he love the fall and walking through it's beautiful leaves, or prefer to stay inside away from things that make him sneeze.  Will he love sitting by a fire and watching the moon, or remind me that there are a ton of bugs outside along with those nasty raccoons.

Will he love me and my imperfect ways, or get frustrated finding random coffee cups I seem to misplace EVERYDAY.  Will he love the way I enjoy gas powered engines and speed, or will he put a "Prius" in the garage and say that's all I need.

Will he love that I care deeply about people and things, or want to keep me to himself and clip my wings.  Will he love the way I love those precious kids and their toys, or secretly hope they never come around with their noise.

Will he love my dog that I insist stays inside or will he declare yards are for dogs so she has to stay outside.  Will he love me as much and as loyally as I do him or lose interest with the next willing Yoga teacher whim.

Why am I wondering about so many things?  Only a frozen heart wouldn't after so much betrayal from the one who slipped on your first ring.  Now unfrozen I look back amazed at how much went on, slowly killing me with paper cuts even if no visible blood was drawn.

So, I "think" God will pick someone with kind eyes and a giving heart, He knows exactly what I need for my life's new start.  Only someone who has walked in similar situations, can understand how important trust is to a firm foundation.

Yes, I am older and not as fast I as once was, but even older hearts need to experience true love.  I will grow older with someone I can love and trust, uninterested by the offers of one night stands or move in with me....(x)

Now that former books have started figuring this all out, unwanted offers like coupon books are laying all about.  I know some older women out of fear will take whatever they can get, I see where they are coming from but don't understand settling for it.  

So, enough of my heart's silly questioning rhyme, I think I know where my ship is heading in a few months time.  Once I have arrived only time can reveal if that destination was right, if wrong, God will guide me as I sail on into the night.

It took a minute for reality to sink in and a few days to sort it all out, Sara shut down everything and started heading south.  Clearly the Ringmaster wanted everyone to know, they placed a 511 billboard on all of the roads.

Sara traveled to seek advice while using no names, her heart was bouncing around like a ball in a game.  Her oldest and wisest mentor was the one Sara sought, wisdom like hers was rare and could not be bought.

The look in her eyes as she held Sara's hand was one of compassion, watching Sara swirl between common sense, reality and her heart's emotional clashing.  Her kind yet wise words were spoken into Sara's soul, "Sweet darlin, your heart was hoping you were looking at life's next road as you grew old."

Oh my it was true, she had put too much stock into something maybe, could be, or somewhat she knew.  There are songs about foolish hearts and the things that they do, now she could sing along while adding the words, mine too.

A billboard posted again and again on the Ringmaster's many roads said taken and closed, Sara knew the trip was over so she unpack her clothes.  After a few days with reality still in her view, she accepted she had been foolish and Sara's wisdom about such things grew.

The unseen world where all her travel and race planning took place, was one Sara had not understood should only be done face to face. A lesson learned by a foolish girl at the age of (TBD), protected by friends Sara knew would keep her foolishness from view.  

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I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.  Philippians 1:6

God's still teaching me and I am sure He will until the end.  I am the slow one in the class.