Moonlight

Isn't life interesting with all it's twists and turns, how boring it would be if we knew the all the answers with nothing new to learn.  Why did God give fireflies their special light, bringing glee to old and young watching them fly at night?

Why does the air smell like sweet honey sometimes and how did the crickets learn to sing together in perfect time?  How can rain drops and the sound of leaves calm you down?  Why do you breathe easier when the perfect mountain view is found? 

How do our hearts create melodies and rhymes?  Why did God place a gift like this in your heart and mine?  What beautiful tools He gave us to survive the twist and turns, while really not asking for anything in return.

Why do our souls pick a certain someone coupled with emotions that burn, with hearts that won't let you fake it too long with someone else who can't satisfy it's yearn?......

Too many questions run through my ADD brain, I wonder sometimes do I drive God insane.  But then I remember He created me this way, so  I far as I can tell He loves all the question I shoot upwards each day.

More questions to come.....maybe the same bat time, definitely the same bat channel.

Draft #I lost count

After a few days of sleep, a better chapter  draft.

How interesting to once again be in the same port of rest at the same time, another one in a million situations Sara would reflect on in a rhyme. These reflections bring to mind the correct answer of NO, they couldn't shake hands and say a simple hello.

 When two friends, both with kind hearts, understand they can’t even say hello to start.  It doesn’t mean that they’re mad, sad, happy, unloving  or unkind,  it means at least one of them is smart.  LOL  .....  When you can silently observe someone's ways, you can see who they really are under 

a real time gaze.  

Back to the lakes and mountains, for her battle, Sara will go to prepare, seeking peace and rest with all she finds there.  Maybe or maybe not she misread the charts she used sailing on this sea, for the same "reasons" there was no hello, God willing  she will do the right thing and let it be.

Isn't Life Interesting.....

8 Finally, Sara, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 

6.  Sara, Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

7. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard Sara's heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4: 6-8

Here I can feel the mountain's breath, it fills my lungs and clears them of busyness.  The smell of Honeysuckle is all around, crickets and buzzing bees are my melody sounds.

The thing about getting quiet and alone, is the feelings you can't avoid with to do lists and scrolling on the phone.  The quiet begins to grow in your soul, God keeps it there a moment before the feelings arrive to help you grow.

Exhaustion and grief bring tears with their torrent of pain, after a while they slow down like drips of water following a heavy rain.  Laughter can follow if you choose to remember good times, and with acceptance, out of sadness you begin to climb.

Wondering about who really cares and is not playing a game, knowing if you get betrayed again too soon your heart may never be the same. Quietly praying any friendships not real will go away. Not wanting to hang on and save yourself for what turns out to be just another rainy day.

Questions directed at God and the pathways He chose for you. Why all the twists and turns topped off with the left handed curve ball He threw.  Looking at the stars that shine at night, deciding to trust Him because you believe He loves you with all His might.

Peace like a breeze from an angel's wing begins to settle in your soul, resting easy because you know in time you will be made whole.  Finally, the words start spilling out of your pen, it's ink making these moments permanent and easy to recall again.

 "Should of", "could of", "would of", "I did",  or "I didn't", each one can change the outcome of a rhyme.  All can be looked back on with regret, satisfaction, longing or wonder over time.   Sometimes it is best like Johnny Cash said, to "walk the right line".

Bouncing  back and forth between "should of", "could of", "would of" so glad you  didn't have to make a choice.  Listening to the logic in your head and not giving your heart a voice.

Dear God, please forgive me for being mean today, I am so exhausted I couldn't seem to find one nice thing to say.  For the ones who love me and understand, I know their eyes will hold mercy when we meet again.

Sleeping on office couches while waiting for zoom calls to start, troubles outside of work have weakened my normally kind heart.  No one reaches out for help because their life is going great, I need rest so I can be kind and smile while carrying around this weight.

Tomorrow I close the door with instructions on what to do while I am away.  I want to sleep, turn off my phone and let my words come to life for more than a couple of days.   So hate me in a few weeks if I return and haven't changed, if I am still a mean girl and act the same.

Maybe I will return to sit on the island cliffs where I watched the Orcas dance, or drive out west to watch wild horses in the mountains while they prance.  Little voices are begging me to come with them, help them with their "floaties" and watch them while they swim.  

For those who never walked through the desert of exhaustion land, there is no way they could be expected to understand.  But if you have and you care for me, days like this when I am not perfect, will test whether or not you will flee.

They say on a clear day you can see forever, doubts about the road before you are tied to the word never.  The sun is shining through the leaves, nothing can come between them, not even the breeze.

Blurry days will come with the fear they bring, so, do what we tell little kids when they get scared, SING.  Sing of His love for you and your precious heart, He has always known the best way from the start.

Why do we think we know better than Him, for goodness sake just pinch the skin you are in.  He created every cell you see on your arm, if you're smart enough to listen He will keep you from harm. (see how I got that "you're" contraction right, wink, wink)

Well, we both know that's not always true, sometimes God's perfect plan broke our hearts in two.  While He never promised to keep us from life's pain, He did promise to never let us walk alone in the rain.

So sing, even if you always do it alone, who cares if you are the only one home.  If you can't sing then hum a little tune, I sure as "heckadurn" can't sing so that is what I do.  (my mom's made up word because she wasn't allowed to cuss.)

I don't even know where to call home, my life is like a rip tide I swim against alone.  I know this situation won't last forever, but there are days it is so, so hard to keep it together.

I don't share this to gain sympathy, but my sincere smiles you see are there because He walks with me.  I pray you know how to find this peace, for me, I bring Him my struggles on my knees.

All joking, bad grammar (not grammer) and personal details aside, some days are clear and others blurry, while some leave you feeling barely alive. We both know the sunshine eventually breaks through, I mean seriously, God let me share my rhymes but only with you. (ha)

I heard a word in a movie I want to use in my life, just saying it over and over cuts through any worries like a knife.  A woman with gumption is a sight to behold, with a shimmer in her eyes resembling flakes of gold.

A woman with gumption knows her worth, based on her spirit, inner not outward beauty and not the dollars in her purse.  I am going to claim it for myself and use it way, way too much.  God be with the man who wins my heart, my soul and my touch.

Eyes filled with golden flakes shimmering with love for him, on occasion turning into lightning bolts fueled by either anger or passion's urgent whim.  Gumption lets you see the truth about many situations, giving you the strength to require honesty and transparency in all your conversations.

I didn't know years ago what to call the "gumption" in my heart, but it gave me courage to learn how to line up with other cars and experience racing starts. .......

I like to think about it hidden inside my soul, I enjoy feeling it more and more as I grow old.  The inner glow folks tell me they are starting to see again, gumption most assuredly helped light the fire in my eyes and words appearing at the end of my pen.

Saying that word makes me smile,.....

I was reading about a beautiful someone who left earth, too soon, not that long ago. Their journey home to heaven was made easier by a man who loved her so.  A precious Mom, a forgiven Dad and relatives who meant so much, all were blessed near the end by his help and loving touch.

I wonder if he finds it hard to believe he is used by God in so many ways?  Even now his notes brighten the horizon for so many whose skies have turned gray.  I wonder what would they have done without you, don't be humble, you know these words are true.  

He isn't a perfect person, of that I am sure. :) Everyone has a few struggles we fight to hide and detour.  Few can say they have heart that is willing to be used, especially knowing they WILL suffer loss creating a new heart bruise.

I bet some wonder how your moon appeared in their skies, I think God has reserved that answer for Himself, not for you and I.  I am simply grateful He allowed me to be a tiny part of your life's plan, I don't think anyone, anywhere would ever understand.

Waves and water they come and they go, sometimes swiftly and sometimes slow. It takes time for sailors to be able to understand how currents flow, allowing them to chart the best way for their ships to go.

Undertows, just like a gravity can take you by surprise, depending on how powerful both can bring fear to your eyes.  Do you give in and let it sweep you away, or do you swim against it knowing today is not the day?

When the moon and stars are hidden from questioning eyes, and there can be no words to answer all the questions why.  On and off the charted trip a ship will go, confused about its direction without beams from the moon's intoxicating glow.

Unbelievable and don't go is what she wanted to say, but so many mixed messages had come her way.  She no longer knew what to do, but trusted love would be there someday if what she heard was true.

She REFUSED to believe anything had been in vain, they had no idea how much their words had eased her heart's pain.  Days so dark and full of tears, had been brightened by the moon for the first time in years.  

..she breathed and felt love again...

Unloved, untouched and not cherished for such a long time, the pathway to freedom came and so did her heart's rhymes.  Several months away to finish correcting her Yaw‘s steering…….  The deception declared over was what she waited to hear.

If she sails on alone it will be okay, she would always love the moon even if it's beams were not there to light her way. If by chance they were still shinning bright, she would use them to help guide her ship into freedom's light.

Well dang, it's that song again, the one with notes my heart used to rise again. I'm not sure how it came to me, but I suspect those notes will be used to shape my destiny. 

I am strangely drawn to know more about the writer, their life clearly made them a kindhearted survivor. Lives so different, but the same in so many ways, duplicate experiences separated by years and days.

You know that friend we all wish we had, someone you could trust with your heartbreaks and events that were bad. Friend like this are hard to find, so when life's tales are shared, no worry of betrayal ever plagues your mind.

Well, here it comes again, that song on my list, the one that soothed my heart up when it was the frailest. A smile begins to form in my heart, and I know for sure God is giving me a new start.

If only I could thank them for sharing their heart but oh my goodness, where would you even start. Songwriters like this are guarded by fame, so sending a thank you would only be in vain.

I think I will send a thank you anyway, even if it's never opened or sees the light of day. They should know how powerful words can be and how they helped a faraway listener like me.

When stuck in the middle of two types of towns, nothing is worse than traffic slowing you down. But if you rush faster than what God has planned, could you find yourself in a place you don't understand?

 I know going slow with sometimes a stop can seem like sliding backwards in a five speed on a hilltop. This my friend while frustrating at times, just may be protection for your life and mine. 

While speed and stop signs frustrate our pace, isn't better if everything was in its right place. Does slow moving traffic actually create a space where conversation between passengers can safely take place?

Playlists with all of your favorite songs, are the perfect reason for a drive to be long. Sometimes using words to tell your tale, while allowing music to speak in ways that will not fail. 

I heard music played while riding around in a car, can create dreams, new love and the occasional star. So why would you want to drive too fast, missing songs in your playlist you saved for last. 

So many songs have a special sound, only felt while driving with the windows down. Chasing moon beams and starlight from the front seat of your car, with quiet conversation makes the distance seem not too far.