Sauron Still Lives

The thing I have learned about power and fame, is it depends up on the heart owning it whether or not they play a fair game.  Some use it with kindness and are gracious in life, some use it to control in unfair ways causing painful strife.  

A strange thing I believe to be true, some powerful men never forget you.  When you had the courage to tell them no, surprisingly still remembered even if it was long ago. 

I spoke the words I knew were true, "Do what you want but God is my protector, even from you".  The schemes to hurt me fell flat on the track, I just kept walking and never looked back.

Spider-Man, said "with great power comes great responsibility", I say with any level of  influence we should walk in humility.  I have seen them rise and sometimes fall, the ones with good hearts tend to bounce back like a ball.

more.....

 A small-town girl with roots in the racing world, set out to travel and give it’s nomad life a whirl. Viewed as a little sister by most, she was able to hang on to her true self from coast to coast.

Only those with money, power and fame, were welcomed into this circus tent game. She saw hundreds come, then away they were sent, if unable to pay the ringmaster's seat rent. The red mist as they called it took many a man, from fancy late night dinners to cooking for himself in a small pan.

Never once did she accept an offer to be someone’s special fun, she was taught to be careful while waiting for the right one. Discretion and old-fashioned ways earned her the right, to be a trusted ally to many of racing’s crowned knights.

Powerful men surrounded by money and fame, required great discretion and work to protect their names. No one enters this world without talent for speed, although many with fortune and fame enter trying to meet a need.

Never, ever a racing fan, she didn’t care if their name was known throughout the land. With a unique view behind the curtain, all were treated like pain in the butt brothers, of that you can be certain.

Bill France said to remember we’re just a bunch of circus clowns, our tent is just bigger with fast cars racing around. As with many things surrounded by money a dark side grew, some situations so distasteful with PR teams working quietly so no one knew. 

Few on the inside walk away from this business, especially trusted partners with discretion about what they had witnessed. Longing for a more normal life awakened and started to stir. Life in this exciting but lonely world was starting to change her.

Living a nomad life while turning her head was something she could no longer do, so she said goodbye to the ringmasters of the rules, families and racing crews. God had blessed her while living the nomad life, she moved on with hopes of settling down to become a wife.

Years later, in the middle of dreams and plans being shattered, racing has returned with an offer to do something new that matters. Most of the crowned knights she knew had moved on, but the ringmasters remembered her work from days long gone.

Finding trusted partners with experience and age, bring wisdom and discretion younger ones can’t learn from a book’s page. Please give us race weekends and nothing more, you can focus on living the other days just like before.

She didn't know how she would find the time and space, but with no true home she was free to fly all over the place. Life had become so complicated and confusing, maybe hotel rooms would be best for her musing.

Hello Red Mist, it is strange to see you old friend, amazed to find my heart racing with this excitement again.  I see you've been busy just like before, welcoming in so many through the same old door.

The machines, the colors and fresh smell of racing fuel, I can't help it, I almost feel sort of cool.  But oh my, we know it is just an illusion, experience and age remind me not to buy into any delusions.

Walk carefully and listen with both ears, trust your wisdom and rest in the respect earned in past years.  Never give in to the power and fame game, because once gone they may  not remember your name.

So many great people are still around, this is just like walking around my hometown.  The side of racing I really enjoyed, those here with talent and families with lives encompassed in circuit life joy.

These amazing machines and their beautiful sounds, intoxicate my eyes watching them glide and slide around.  My heart doesn't race for the men in these cars, it is the elegance of these machines that make me pause. 

Just like watching the old planes dad and I enjoyed, I am grateful for the ones restoring some of my favorite racing toys.  A jet plane in the sky is a sight to behold, but watching side by side cornering is like finding gold.

So here I am quietly moving about, preferring to be in the background not needing to shout.  Wisdom will lead me back down hidden pathways, keeping me far from the spotlights gaze.

To be sure.....

Its so late and I am ready for bed, dream of racing cars still dance in my head.  Videos stored up in the clouds, will have to wait because its late and they are really loud.

I learned today I am too old to play this game for real, but I don't mind helping friends with the occasional reel.   12 hours is all it took to remind me of my former home,  better because I work for no one and I am free to roam.  

Exchanging smiles from friends I thought long gone, the only difference is the time lines on our faces that have been drawn.  Many made the choice to stay, enjoying fond memories with laughter drove the conversation today.

Some of the bad ones are still here, but many remain that I will always hold dear.  I suppose I will always be tied by memory strings, remembering shared moments and the conversation they bring.

Former crowned racing knights, appeared before me to my delight.  All found someone who shares their love for speed, and positions of influence using their wisdom to lead.

Bullies, with more power than they had before, still occupy space through the tower door.  Men who are not used to not getting their way, oddly remember me even to this day.

Remembering a few hidden events with great distaste, remind me of some of the reasons I walked away from this space.  Memories bringing a tear to my eye, I was so young, naive and shy.

Meeting the new young ones who now work in my place, understanding why they needed someone with aged grace.  This same age with the wisdom it brings, gives me pause about returning to this odd circus ring.

Hate me to tomorrow when my head is on straight, then I can be held accountable for all the mistakes that I make. Ignore me today and any words that I say, kindness and grace is needed for these upside down days.

Pressure to know where I am going, without any confusion in my mind is showing.  Sleepless nights with so many voices, you're good if you do this, your a bad if you do that, make up your mind with all these choices. 

So many friends and loved ones understand, most everyone I know has walked through all kinds of challenging desert lands. So many granted many months and years to be okay, why do I pressure myself to bounce back in just a number of days.

So hate me tomorrow, not today, I am unclear and rarely have the right words to say. I get up trusting God the only one who truly loves me, while helping older ones down shortened pathways they can no longer see.